The Lord Almaty Life in Kazakhstan

Satisfaction

Sometimes I go into things expecting the worst. My experience with Beshbarmak confirmed my worst misgivings about the status of the Kazakh culinary arts. Othertimes, however, I am very pleasantly surprised.

Today, I had to get my haircut. For those of you who have lived in a country where you speak the language poorly, getting a haircut is one of the most annoying but necessary things you have to do. I lack the vocabulary to describe what I want my hair to look like even in English, not to mention Russian or Chinese. I felt surely that I would end up with something hideous, especially given the fact that I have seen a few questionable styles here.

As you can see, various versions of the mullet are popular here. And yes, it is indeed Kazakh Fashion Week this week. It's obvious isn't it?

I'll have you know, I was pleasantly surprised by the quality of my haircut. Truly not bad!

I also often get questions about what I eat here. As noted earlier, I am not exactly sure what Kazakh food is... the only thing I would say is definitely Kazakh is Beshbarmak, which I am definitely not a fan of. It tastes like leather sauteed with onions and dumped on soft noodles. The noodles are quite nice actually and the horse meat broth that comes with it is not bad either. The meat itself is tasteless and tough.

Most of the time I just cook for myself or eat doner kebabs. When I am feeling creative, I make various vegetable curries like this one:

This is really pretty delicious. I made it by first buying some fresh mushrooms from Zeleniy Bazaar (Green Bazaar). These mushrooms are huge and cheap... only 1 USD for a whole kilo of mushrooms. I prepare the base by putting tomatoes, dill, garlic, and ginger in a blender. The blender is the single most genious thing you can bring with you abroad for it makes everything in your life so much better and easier. You cannot imagine how nice it is to have a real milkshake in Kazakhstan.

The Magic Bullet (blender company) is the shit. It really is an amazing blender. I highly recommend going to Target and getting yourself one. After I blend the incredients together, I fry the tomato dill paste mixture with onions and the mushrooms. Sometimes I have issues with the stove because its one of those old fashioned ones where you have to turn on gas and then use a manual lighter.

Well, after I get the fire going, I fry all the crap together and add curry powder, soy sauce, and lemon juice to taste. Pretty damn good if you ask me.

In Kazakhstan, most foods lack flavor. Hence, I rely on what I call the Holy Trinity of Flavor in Kazakhstan. These items are soy sauce, ketchup, and adjika. Adjika is basically a sweet red pepper paste.

I basically use these three sauces on everything. For those of you who know me well, I am very very lazy. When I don't want to cook or mess with the manual stove, I just heat up some instant oatmeal and dumb this crap all over it. I have made many a meal eating oatmeal, raw eggs, and a bunch of processed sauce on top. Some may consider this disgusting, but I swear its not even that bad. When I am too lazy to even operate the microwave, I pull a smeagol. And by smeagol, I mean I eat these raw fishies preserved in oil that taste really really fishy. Russians tend to eat this stuff with potatoes when drinking vodka. I prefer eating it with a huge scoop of adjika to kill the flavor!

It looks scary because it is.

And I would like to close this post with an even scarier picture.

Jimmy Jimmy HACHA!

About Kirby

My name is Kirby and I am a recently graduated college. I received a Fulbright grant to study in Kazakhstan. This blog is my way of sharing with my friends and family my experiences in this country.